Five thoughts, ideas, insights, or quotes to power up your mind to think differently and creatively about life and who we are. Put all previous thinking away and open up a brand new world of the Supermind. YOUR SuperMind.
This week – Honesty.
Honesty seems an old word and human trait these days. It feels like a behaviour we once used to show in the past as it has been fast disappearing in life in the modern society. What was once a cast iron human value, now is a rare breed among people compared to the past. That’s a worrying trend and so SMS has to take a look at this endangered species among mankind.
1. Faking it is making it.
The arrival of social media seems perfectly aligned with the recent rapid decline in honesty. When it began honesty was still in. We didn’t want to look liars and fakes. But as recognition became a temptation especially as we were talking more and more to people we did not know, honesty began to wane. The desire to create an online life that doesn’t match our real life that could lift our image and even income, meant faking it to make it expanded in epidemic proportions.
So, is it OK to join in faking our life as everyone is doing it now? Does that make it right?
2. We are spiritual not religious.
The whole ethos of honesty and integrity was at the heart of society that was founded and ran on religious principles. Over the previous centuries our churches and places of worship were central to the community. Their teachings, their laws of faith, and their messages that our Gods would not approve dripped into the mass conscience. But, we are less religious than ever. We have turned spiritual. The new teachings are that the Universe wants us to succeed and have things. Nothing about honesty comes into it. We just go get what we want.
Has the new spiritual era kicked off a less than honest person today?
3. Feelings first.
Life on Earth today has changed markedly since the century began. Where we were once hardy and thick skinned, it’s all flipped upside down. Everyone has become offended and upset about almost anything. Especially minor trivial irritations. We have elevated basic bothers to major hurt feelings. You can’t go anywhere or watch any TV show without warnings about potential offense. It’s a cotton wool world. And as being offended or devastated (and other big descriptive adjectives) can lead to benefits, so honesty has gone out the window.
Are we using our feelings as an excuse not to be honest?
4. Dishonesty is the new normal.
Perhaps we should not be surprised by dishonesty anymore. Even the great renowned actor and playwright, Noel Coward said, ‘How many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit’. That some 70 years ago when society seemed at least more moral than we experience now. Which raises the painful question…
Are we so used to dishonesty that we just don’t bother with honesty anymore?
5. You lose by being honest.
Have you ever told a white lie? A little fib because the truth would cause you problems or you would lose out? I think we have all done that. Nothing major but it wasn’t worth the hassle to own up to the real story. It starts with a minor untruth (they had no BBQ sauce at the supermarket but really you forgot to pick it up). No repercussions so you move onto bigger stuff (you meet your ex for lunch now and again as you still remember the good times you had). If we admitted either there would be hell to pay, so we keep schtum. And so we get used to shelving honesty at all.
Is it better to not be honest as it’s far less bother?
Ok, that’s another SuperMind Saturday done. Thank you for being here for the SuperMind time. Keep thinking about these. We need more minds thinking about this issue and the others issue on SuperMind Saturdays. Why? Because it’s needed. Because the world requires new thoughts and ideas. Perhaps YOURS!!
See you next time for more super thinking.
Photo attributions – free to use under Pixabay Content License by Mr_Zed and Javaistan.
Little mistakes. Huge mistakes, Stupid mistakes. Lots of mistakes.
That’s because we are human and we’re not perfect. They are part of life itself. As long as mankind is present on this planet, mistakes will always happen.
Most of us get angry or worried when we make a mistake. Usually this is because there may be consequences for our error, or because there already is. Typically then we fear making a mistake as this means something has gone wrong or definitely soon will.
We just don’t like or welcome mistakes. In any walk of life.
Except one.
The higher minded among us. The big goal setters and go getters. The ones with aspirations and a determined vision who know mistakes will happen as part of their endeavours.
Who are these people? The successful achievers.
And here’s why they love mistakes so much.
Mistakes SHOULD happen.
Everyday people tend to believe mistakes shouldn’t happen.
We beat ourselves up when we make a faux pas. Or get frustrated at our silliness. And when dealing with companies and organisation who mess up, we get annoyed and disappointed.
But, not everyone does.
There are those whose minds see mistakes as one more step towards their aims. One more thing learned, discovered, or given feedback. For them mistakes are merely updates. These are the people who go on to bigger things because they don’t allow themselves to be held back by failures or errors.
And there are some very famous examples you will know well.
One inventor famously made the quote, ‘I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work’.
That fabulous attitude was owned by Thomas Edison. The pioneer and creator of the lightbulb. But what is lesser known about him is that he held 1,093 patents on various inventions. From the phonograph to a talking doll, a durable battery to the electrographic vote recorder (an early voice recorder…very early!),
Edison demonstrated a clear cut don’t-give-up mentality. His notebooks contained over 4,000 various ideas and inventions he believed could be built.
While he was a great innovator, another man was a great sport.
Always take the shot.
The typical guy or girl on the street is reluctant to risk much.
They may have a very attractive business proposition. They may have a new product. Or simply a fresh service they have seen a gap in the market it can fill. But they hold back actually rolling the dice and taking a shot at it.
Others have no choice, shots are part of the very game they play.
Famous people become famous because they do famous things.
Witness the story of a young basketball hopeful in the 1980’s. At the age of 18 he was drafted to play for the Chicago Bulls. The pressure was immense at the pro level. But, he was an instant hit. The Bulls made the play offs that season after missing them for a number of years and he went on to lead all the averages in the NBA.
Roll forwards to the end of his career. When he finally retired at the start of this century his roll call of honours was staggering. Six NBA champion medals, 14 times NBA All start player, and 10 times NBA scoring champion among numerous accolades. This was Michael Jordan.
But to achieve all that he had to make a huge amount of mistakes. As he noted in this famous quote –
‘I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed’.
Even the world’s best ever knows mistakes builds champions.
Meaningful mistakes.
The key to success is the meaning behind them.
Errors and mishaps doing silly stunts just to get TikTok traffic perhaps isn’t truly meaningful. Neither is having an accident by driving too fast to show off your sports car. Dumb stuff that leads to dumb results.
The pursuit of higher and nobler goals which creates mistakes, well that’s a far more meaningful endeavour. Setbacks in the process of reaching for greater goals and personal good should be expected. And definitely viewed as signs that you are moving ahead.
Attempting to build a brand around your cartoon character design and your first few marketing promos bomb. Review, gather yourself, and go again, it’s par for the course. Seeking being a culinary expert in the use of spices in food and you can’t quite perfect the right combination balance for your signature dishes. Test and taste, test and taste, and they will eventually come together.
Anything that leads to a lasting advance will contain mistakes without fail. They are how you get there.
Such personal projects are where mistakes meet meaning meet magic in the end.
Mistakes are the anchor for all the most successful souls that pulls them back so they can find ways up the progress ladder. But only when they are scaling the heights to a milestone not a plaything.
And that, my friend, is what you have to do too.
Make mistakes with real meaning!
Success is a mistake away.
Could a mistake make your life?
Yes, 100% so!
But the vast majority of us are scared of those mistakes. We fear being embarrassed or losing all our money, of having a dreamed dashed or even that people won’t like us if we become a success.
That’s OUR mistake.
Mistakes mature us and our plans and ripen them into something that we can harvest. No-one who has succeeded has done so immediately. They have had to commit time and efforts to realise their wish. So expecting to be an overnight winner is the real error if there is one in our minds. The failed attitude that isn’t prepared to fail even for one day to live a great life further on down the line.
Mistakes mean we are one day, one improvement closer to what we yearn for. And that’s the proverbial journey of a thousand miles the famous Chinese philosopher Confucius taught the world. A step, not into unknown, but into the bigger future we want to experience.
Don’t let yourself be someone who won’t make a mistake.
Because that’s the biggest mistake keeping you from every success you want.
References – thomasedison.org – Thomas Edison Inventions.
We all get a stress head full of hassle on a regular basis.
God knows the number of times I’ve woken up with an already thumping head due to my life and work schedule. I’m sure you can recognise that too. Some may argue it’s the price of modern life. I’d say it’s been around for decades and probably will for plenty more.
Our heads are our computers. They run our show.
They arrange, support, calculate, scan for threats, store information, remember information, and generally are like a 100 PA’s.
Boy, do they do a lot!
However, just like overworked assistants they get stretched and pressured and it all becomes hassle. Too much hassle. The head almost hurts and feels attacked from all sides.
When we are hassled we get anxious, angry, and forgetful. We just don’t like it. It causes major stress as I’ve written about in SuperMind Saturday.
But, there is one very telling reason why you should welcome hassle.
It may be just about to save your life!
High level hassle.
Sit back and enjoy the flight, is what the captain of our plane tells us.
So, sit back we do, pop on a movie, get fed some meals, recline in our seat, and leave our stresses on the ground for a while.
That’s what Peter Hogenkamp and his partner did on his late night Cross Air flight from Berlin to Zurich in November 2001. He was tired and really needed to get some shut eye, but the three members of the Dutch-German all girl group, Passion Fruit, were being noisy and disruptive in the seats in front. They had been at a gig that night and were still in electric mood and excitedly fired up.
Hassled and with other seats available they switched rows away from the annoyance hoping to get some rest before they landed.
Not longer after flight 3597 plunged into wooded hills 2.5m short of the runway killing all but nine people. Peter and his partner Jacqueline and one member of the band survived.
Peter was so hassled he changed seats, but this changed his whole life by saving it.
This is how hassle works. It may not be some message from the angels or the fates favouring you. What it will be is forcing a change that can save you from a lot of future problems and, potentially, save your life.
Hassle may be help all along.
Late but alive.
We have all been running late for work.
Whether it’s sleeping in, kids delaying us, or traffic snarl ups, we’ve all turned up behind time. Often this leads to little consequence bar a minor ticking off, but once in a while it prevents us losing far more than a few minutes work time.
That was what was going through Prasad Govenkar’s mind one morning as he struggled to get to work without being late. His alarm clock decided not to work and he spilled coffee down his shirt in the rush to be ready.
Worse still the trains were delayed due to signalling problems on the line. He was hassled and prepared himself for the rebuke from his boss in the city for not being at his desk as usual.
But those hassles that played out in his mind would be the very saviours that kept him alive.
The city was New York, the date was September 11th 2001, and his office was in the World Trade Center.
The collective stress of his non-functioning alarm, black coffee mishap, and train hold ups that had his head racing, soon had it racing for a different reason. Fundamentalist terrorists flew 2 passenger airplanes into both Twin Towers with the loss of nearly 3000 lives. All those in and around Prasad’s office space were killed.
Hassle had once again stepped in so he survived.
Minor not major.
Now I don’t want to paint a bleak picture here.
Any hassle you go through doesn’t predict some bad omen has been prevented from getting to you. The truth is even if they make us tear our hair out, most hassles are only short term annoyance and irritations. They are usually minor not major.
There is another point I’m making.
Hassle may be a re-direction.
It provides feedback about our life that, if we were to consider more, is trying to get us to evaluate things.
Traffic delays yet again on our commute may ask if we’re doing the right role in the right place. Or similar if we have continual staffing shortages that push up our workload. Or our partner always changing plans and we never know what we’re doing half the time could be a hint that the relationship might not be the one for us.
These won’t kill us as such, but they hassle us to get our attention.
I actually think hassles may secretly be wake up calls. They dial up the frustration so much we just want out of the specific scenario or life situation that it links to. After one too many awful days in a job that doesn’t appreciate us and there was no pay rise, we decide it’s finally the point to start our own business. We’ve tried to mend old family wounds with family members we didn’t create, but after another painful gathering, it’s best friends only for us now.
And the biggest alarm clock of all with hassle – heath alerts.
They usually come with body and mind related effects – migraines, anxiety, etc but also extremes can lead to more serious symptoms. At which point you get the message that this has got to stop for the good of your wellness.
Hassles can be our friends you see!
Hear the hassle.
Hassles effectively shout at us. They don’t do whispers.Or subtlety.
We all notice them, which is a good thing inside out. The skill is to look beyond the presented problem to the bigger picture of why that keeps showing up. If we can spot the background truth we are on our way to positive change.
Leaving the house for the wrong job 20 mins earlier to miss the jammed roads meaning less sleep just ain’t it. Working out that the current job or hours is the culprit will give you leverage to make changes.
Being annoyed by your partner’s constant change of schedule so you are going to have it out with her once and for all may not be wise. The true baddie in this just might be you in the people you continually date in the first place that treat you like this.
So, take a wider look at your repeat hassles.
They DO point the pathway out of them through proving you are on a wrong turning somewhere. And, hardest of all, that it has been your own choices, actions, and beliefs that had landed you right in the middle of them.
Hassles don’t start your headaches, they come to end them.
Because hassles change lives, guide lives, and even save them!!
Most people do but only on the little everyday things. Ones that never change their whole life. Most change their minds on what to wear, what to eat, their favourite night spot, and general stuff that isn’t Earth shattering.
It’s not that we are scared to change our mind, we are just to used to only using it to get by and run our daily schedules.
But, few ever change their mind completely in ways that alter the whole shape and path of their life.
I’m sure you haven’t either.
We humans tend to be creatures of habit overall. Some may explore and be more adventurous, but the majority of us stick to a narrow range of experiences. And a small range of thoughts. Our mindsets are fixed and become stuck in repeat patterns.
There is a phrase that says, ‘You are only one decision away from a whole new life’.
And that is true because that decision is to change your mind.
Making the Write Decision.
We all love a trip to the movies.
For the escapism, for the entertainment, for the incredible stories we see. Some are that incredible because they aren’t just off the scale, they are off the planet. One of which became one of the best known of all sci-films. But only because it’s creator changed his mind.
A young teenage enjoyed writing. But he told himself he could never make a living from it and so decided to make a career as a software engineer as it was a well paid role in those days.
But time changes everything, and it also changed his mind.
He continued it as a hobby in his spare time until one day he decided he would write his own novel and self publish it. This was the best decision of his life.
This book was The Martian and the author was Andy Weir. The book went on to make the New York Times bestseller list and, of course, it was made into a Hollywood film starring Matt Damon. The film alone made $630 million worldwide with the book selling over 5 million globally.
All of which because Andy had a mind switch and believed in his writing and did something about it.
A changed mind about something he always loved, kept doing, and always wanted to explore.
Maybe that mirrors you too?
Making a Meal Out of it.
It’s not just one thought that can change your life, one meal can too!
In her mid-thirties one lady was lost. She had tried various roles in secretarial work, governmental posts, and advertising. None of them inspired her and she felt unfulfilled and stuck.
Until she had a French meal at a restaurant in Rouen. Being a keen culinary person the various tastes and textures changed her mind about food as a career. She had always enjoyed concocting her own recipes and now a green light switched on in her imagination.
At first she failed her exams at the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu. Her mind though was fixed and she persisted even though her fellow students believed she could never make the grade.
Not long after she released her own cookbook – Mastering the Art of French Cooking. It flew off the shelves in her native USA as Americans rushed to try French cuisine for themselves at home. She was 49 by then but she had never changed her mind back from her original decision.
She was Julia Child who went on to form a whole empire around food. When she passed away in 2004 she was worth $38million.
All from a nice meal and changed mind about her ability to create her own versions that others would love.
That’s the one change in life that can work wonders.
Heading in a new direction.
Review those true success stories above.
Two people who took a personal interest and changed their mind about what they could do about it.
You will find the same with a whole range of comedians, singers, artists, writers, inventors, and all type of business owners. The idea, the love, the skill, was always there. It was only when their mentality did a 180 did it set them off on a whole new pathway in life.
I did the same when I was in my twenties and quit my job to follow my love of being a tennis coach. When I retired in 2016 I had been a world qualified coach who got to play at Wimbledon, compete against Greg Rusedski, and been on court with Prince William in my career.
Not bad for a local working class guy who gave up a good, secure employment to go after what his mind believed he could.
And so over to you. What is, or has been for some time, spinning around your mind that you never used to think you were good enough at to make work? Or that it could never be turned into a regular income?
Revisit it. Change your mind about it. Think again.
See it as if your are already there doing it. And go do it. Like Andy and his sci-fi and Julia and her french style cooking.
You truly can change your life if you change your mind about one little thing that’s already in you. A thing you CAN do or CAN be something.
And can start as soon as you alter your mind about it.
Change your mind and change the whole destiny of your life for all your life.
Did you ever have a best friend that your parent’s didn’t like?
In our schooldays many of us had a friend or even a small group of pals we hung about with.The more time we spent with them, the more we became like them. And more often than not, that got us into trouble.
Our parent’s would soon ban us from seeing them as they were a ‘bad influence’.
The effect of being around them all the time meant we acted less out of our character and more out of theirs. Perhaps because they were cooler, or usually more popular, but definitely because they were confident backed it up with big talk.
We fell under their spell. The spell of influence.
And influence will always be a powerful force in our lives. And in our minds!
The voices of authority.
The first influence we ever have on our minds are our parents.
They looked after us most of the time to begin with so their views, advice, do’s and don’t’s, standards and values, ethics, beliefs, guidelines, and opinions were the first to be imprinted on us. Imprinted in our minds and our conscience.
Soon after along comes the next voices of authority.
These people add to the rules of the game in life. They will be our teachers and those in similar positions of power who spend the next greater proportion of time with us to influence who we are. With them extra behaviours and rights and wrongs in relation to others and the world will be applied to our mental banks.
Finally, as we move into teenager time comes the final line which will be coaches or leaders of the activities we participate in most from tutors after school or sports coaches. They bring the final layer inputting elements of discipline, effort, dedication, teamwork and the like.
By the time we become adults we are effectively fully influenced by others and the world we have picked up a little ourselves.
No wonder as we hit our mid-teen phase we rebel and seek people who are almost anti the influences we have been given. They represent freedom, being yourself, and breaking free of being told rather than asking yourself what matters.
But, influence has evolved in the 21st Century.
The new influence breed.
The word influencer is on everyone’s lips now.
That’s perhaps because everyone believes themselves to be this and is online saying so. There is actually some psychology to back this up.
If you wish to read and understand more Robert Caldini has written an excellent multi million selling book on how it all works called, ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion’.
As we spend more time in the orbit of peer type people, we begin to elevate the accuracy of what they say or do. In this modern world the time we spend ‘with’ someone who we look up to or admire is from watching social media. As we can commit ourselves to listening/watching many times a day, we can be in their company again and again.
Do that on repeat and soon these people get into our psyche. We begin to filter in subtle elements that tell us they are believable. Their number of followers and likes, the amount of video views etc. Add to that their announcements of how much they are earning or how their lifestyle is increasingly upgrading. We soak it all up.
These factors automatically add weight to what they present and prove to us they should be listened to. They are the truth and their influence has well and truly grabbed us.
With the advent of the internet this has given the dark side of humanity a voice.
A voice of anger, war, accusation, fundamentalism, and crime hooks plenty in through the process above. The tentacles of influence can reach far and wide and trap many in.
Now we don’t have to go anywhere to hang out with the bad influences our parents warned us of.
Who is influencing you?
Influencers (anyone anywhere not just social media) get in our heads.
That’s what they are good at. They make us believe.
From drug dealers to our old school mates going to beers every Saturday night. Their skill at persuasion means it’s difficult to say no. Watch them enough and you will be convinced you need to act and believe like them. And soon you want to be like them too.
That’s how influence has always played out.
Someone talks proudly and strongly enough and we see them as someone we aspire to become. Even marketers use this cleverly. They create characters in adverts that we imagine we could be. While we’re doing that we open our wallets to buy the product they were promoting because if they have it, we should too.
Influence goes further in this internet age. We can be persuaded to support a dubious cause, change our ethics, donate to any type of charity, and even send all our savings to a lover abroad who will pay us back soon.
From your bestie mate Barry at high school to joining the Flat Earth Society, influence lasts a lifetime.
And so you need to ask yourself what or whose influence you are under. Or have always been under?
That influence is running your show and perhaps ruining your life (tried the new Mango Vape the celebs use yet??).
Influence is everywhere, you need to work out what influence is IN you!
